Thursday, August 11, 2011


Last night I made a horrible mistake.

I MEANT to go and have a look at an apartment. I looked up the directions on Google Maps and MEANT to follow them. But then we got side tracked and decided to follow The Evil Garmin.

We were concerned that it was taking us in the wrong direction, but thought we'd give it a shot, see if there was some alternate route we didn't know about. Alternate being alongside Alexandra and crossing over THAT end of Louis Botha. Hmm.

It was then that we realised that there were in fact TWO streets with the name I had entered, and we in the other one.
Never mind, we thought, we'll just go back home.

We started off ok, again trusting The Evil Garmin. We saw the onramp to the freeway we thought was right, but the The Evil Garmin didn't want us to take it. And then... it was too late.

For a horrifying half an hour we were STUCK in the middle of 'town' amid gunshot sounds and packed-to-capacity streets overflowing with swerving taxi's. Never mind wrong turns, there was hardly space for regular turns. My hands were shaking so much I could barely change the destination in The Evil Garmin, let alone holla for help on Google Maps with my waaaaay-smaller-than-they-usually-seem Blackberry keys.

The Evil Garmin seemed intent on having us in 'town' for as long as possible as it threw out 'turn left's at impossible moments and 'recalculating's about as frequently as I was swallowing incredibly unladylike words.

Finally, FINALLY, we made it out.

We drove along silently, thanking any and every God available that we were in Jens strong Audi, and that it hadn't been me, alone in my little car, unable to consult any form of a map, in this strange, bustling city. Thanking the wheels as they turned on the road for not running over any toes (like I said, it was busy busy busy) and carrying us safely home.

As soon as I caught my breath, and my hands unclenched for long enough for me to wipe the sweat off of them, I began my apologies...

Lesson learnt! Plan every trip carefully BEFORE you go. Write it down on your dorky pieces of paper, and follow them to the km. And for GOODNESS sake Robyn, DON'T trust The Evil Garmin for anything more than a final street number.

I skulked Only Just Starting Out butt back into Bedfordview to join the Already Made It's, reminded, once more, of how very, very far I have left to swim in this big old Jozi pond, and thanking those Gods, once more, that my Incredibly Stupid Thing had nothing worse than an adrenaline rush and a gulp of wine at the end of it.

Welcome to Jo'burg Robyn. You're running with the Big Dogs now.

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